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not long ago someone who follows my writing sent me a blunt email. there was no subject line and the single line read: "damn, don't you like anything?" and i sent a four-word reply: "butter-pecan ice cream." even more recently a friend told me that my essays sometimes seem jaded and world-weary. i had to plead guilty to the jaded charge. i look at the plotlines in current events -- needless war, exploited poor, municipal callousness, moments of great possibility that seem to slip out of the brackets and shatter before we get a chance to truly enjoy them -- and it often seems like the world is one of those long-running sitcoms whose writers have run out of new ideas.

i've consciously started writing about people/moments/ideas that i really think highly of. it happens to be the case that things that piss me off are more likely to get me to the computer. but sometimes there are bitter sweet moments that i take pleasure in describing too.

for instance, the other day my car got towed for being parked in the wrong place. i had to go to this lot that is waaaay out in the cut. it is literally next to a city garbage dump and on this long, winding road that is surrounded by overgrown woods on either side. the kind of place where people dump evidence of things they hope god didn't see. then on top of that you had to go up this long, steep blind alley to get into the tow yard.

my ride fell through so i thought it would be a smart idea to ride my bike there -- at close to 1:00 a.m. (mind you i didn't have a clue as to where i was going.) atlanta is full of hills and i alternated between cursing myself slipping out of my exercise routine every time i hit a steep incline and being grateful for the exertion because it was an uncharacteristically chilly night for atlanta in october.

when i got to the top of the alley and entered the yard i saw a run down bungalow and a tow truck idling with no one in it. i knocked on the door and no one answered. then i looked inside and saw a big man, easily my size, watching a football game. he had a beard worthy of an imam. i knocked on the window and he held his finger to his lips and pointed downward. i looked down and saw a newborn asleep in a carriage. when i came in i saw a little girl in a pink jumper with a ski cap that was waaaay to big for her on her head. it was rolled up so it would shield her eyes from the fluorescent light overhead.

her father was manning the desk for the midnight shift. he was a dark-skinned brother covered with tats and about 23 years old. i asked how old she was and he told me she would be two months old in a week. we made small talk while he was processing my paperwork. turns out he had been a semi-pro quarterback until he got cut. he had a serious demeanor, but wasn't grim or bitter. he said it kind of matter of factly. every so often he looked down at the girl and adjusted the cap or tucked the blanket over her. at some point his girlfriend came out of the adjoining room. she was about his age with a kind of gold hue to her skin tone and baby locks. i realized that this whole young family was working the midnight shift together in a yard that was located in the most forgotten corner of atlanta.

before we went out to get my car he pulled the ski cap off his daughter's head and put it on his own, which made his girlfriend laugh. the hat completed an improbable outfit consisting of a white long-sleeve thermal t-shirt, black and red nylon basketball shorts and timberland boots. when i got back outside i realized that because it was way up on a hill on the outskirts of the city, this desolate little corner had the absolute most stunning view of the atlanta skyline that i've ever seen. we wound up having to put the car in front of me into neutral and push it out of the way because the keys were missing. when i got to my car i saw a copy of The Devil and Dave Chappelle in the backseat and i asked him what kind of stuff he liked to read. he said a little of everything. i gave him the copy and said "i used to work the midnight shift back in the day and i was always glad to have something to read to make the time go by." he said thanks and went back inside.

for whatever reason that experience made me happy. i tried to figure out why, thinking maybe it was because they were young and had years in front of them and were too idealistic for worry to have given them furrowed brows, or because they were obviously struggling but hanging in there together, even in the dead of a chilly night in an abandoned precinct of the city. or maybe because the thought of a brother working a midnight shift while reading my book gave me a new understanding of the term "target audience."

what i did know is that it i "liked" that experience for complex reasons -- which is why when people ask me open ended questions like that i take the simple route and say things like "butter-pecan ice cream."

maybe i'm not so jaded after all.

jelani c.
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written by Zenetta, February 06, 2008
I must admit, I had never heard of you or your writings until I read the latest article "why blacks should consider mccain". It was extremely enlightings and very intelligenly written. It also given me something to really think and I believe that in itself will go a long way. So continue to provide your opinion and continue to us black folk something to think. After all "it's our mind and what a terrible thing to waste if we didn't use it". By the way my daughter is a sophomore at Spelman, I said that to say this, you have added one more notch to why I struggle to send her that. I'm very proud of you and her and I don't know you but I appreciate your thoughts.
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Considering McCain
written by PlayerP, February 06, 2008
I just want to send you a note, thanking you for writing your piece on "why blacks should consider McCain." I recently had a very thought provoking conversation with one of my "elders" and their distaste for the fact that I was not voting democratic. When I told them that I consider myself an independent, you would have thought I had said I was a mass murderer. I especially liked the lines where you spoke about the dems earning our vote.

Being from Alabama, I learned first hand what it means to vote the "ticket" only to find out later that folks can run democratic, but the moment they get in office, they re-declare themselves republican. (1994, Shelby) Had I known at the time, (actually researched what the candidate stood for), I probably would not have voted for him.

I am glad to see so many of our young people are now getting politically active; however, I would love to see us really educate one another on the real politics that happen behind the scenes.

Thanks again for your attempt at educating us, and even though I don't like Dave Chappell, (and never would even pick up a book with his name in the title) I may go to the bookstore and investigate your book, you seem like an interesting individual.
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re: what i like...
written by vegas, February 09, 2008
yo, old carver neighbor, liked your piece (what i like)... i had a similar instance here outside DC... a few years ago when we had a snow emergency, because i own a four wheel drive, i volunteered to drive people to and from holy cross hospital in silver spring... after about 14 hours of doing this, it was about 1 in the morning and i signed out and was on my way out the door when i saw a "rough," agitated looking brother waiting for one of the volunteer drivers (who were all white) to take him home (he lived in Southeast DC)... each of the drivers who were next on the list to drive had an excuse for not taking him... finally a young white couple volunteered to drive him (and they didn't even have a SUV - they had an AWD Audi)... feeling bad, i turned around and said i would take him... as we drove to southeast the guy and i talked... he was upset because his girlfriend had just given birth that day and the hospital wouldn't let him stay with her and his new baby... he was cursing at first, but as we started to talk, he seemed to get a little teary eyed as he explained how much seeing his new daughter had affected him... as we get to southeast, dc though, i gotta admit, i'm getting a little nervous, becuase the brother still has "edge" about him and we're now in a pretty rough neighborhood (you know with the burned out buildings)... i'm having thoughts (admittidly, unfounded),that something bad might go down (the roads weren't that plowed, we might get stuck, i might get jacked, etc.)... as we get to his building, he tells me to wait there while he goes inside to get "something"... man, when he went inside, i almost got the heck outta dodge... but, he came out a few minutes later and handed me something... it was a hip hop mixtape CD (because we had discussed music) and he had written his name and number on a slip of paper... he reached in my car window and gave me a makeshift hug gesture... he said he was grateful that i had given him a ride home... as i left, i realized i was choked up a bit... because at some level i had wrongly judged this brotha just like all those white drivers had, but i was moved by his gesture of thanks... and it was amazing how, as i drove out of his neighborhood, it no longer looked so menacing... when i got home i realized that i got more fulfillment out of those 15 hours of volunteer work than anything i had ever done in my professional work...

i gonna peep your hip hop book...

-vegas
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what i like
written by Dominique, February 13, 2008
lol...very well put. I think people don't realize that open questions leads to unwanted answers. But I have to admit, I was reading about "Lynch" online when I stumbled over your entry on this topic which led me to look you up and read more on other topics. Wow, you're an amazing writer. You're very detailed when it comes describing any situation. I'm looking forward to ording a book or two. I love a good read. I'de just wish I can write like you. My down fall is that I love to read and hate to write.
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What I like
written by Zelphia, March 05, 2008
Now I like your writing in that piece called "What I like". I could feel your emotions and your edges were not as rough and stern. The simple pleasures in life is what brings me joy... Simplicity is the sprinkling of God's blessings upon our day...
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What I like is a moving piece...
written by Kia, March 22, 2008
This article was beautiful and deeply moving... I'm not sure about you, but the way you described the setting, the people and the events surrounding the encounter made me think of something primal...

family...
nature's simplistic but striking beauty..
the love of a man for his child...
the vulnerability and quaint attraction of a sleeping child...
the comraderie of a brother in arms fighting to hold on to these things...
a fellow intellect....
and even the anticlimactic release after expending much energy to get your possessions back...

Sometimes it is that which touches our subconscious, the little things, that reach out from their subtle substantive elegance...

I've read some of your other stuff...

but this was touching...




Peace...
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...
written by Leslee, April 07, 2008
Been a fan since day one outside in front of Drew Hall. Jelani... my dear Jelani. Your writing, no matter the topic always touches me so deeply - sometimes in my heart, always in my mind and sometimes kicks me in the butt. I tell everyone I know to check out your site because there is something for everyone. I will always be one of your biggest fans - #1 outside of your blood family - as there was never a day when I didn't believe you weren't going to do the things you said you would. I thank you on behalf of those who know you and those who don't for always remaining conscious while some of us sleep. I thank you or being a voice and a strong one in when the howling wind may try to silence you. I thank you for being my friend from far and near - always in my heart. I have nothing but love for you, man - mad crazy love for my brother.
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